I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
