I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
