Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
