her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
