I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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