Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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