You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i wish my penis had a tongue
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
smell my finger.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
