walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
