he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
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