No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Randomize
