The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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