I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
