If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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