I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
