I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
