help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
