IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
