No, you can still breathe under the balls.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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