I just pynch a tree in the face
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
