A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
