Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
