I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
