At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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