Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i drank out of a bidet.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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