Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
