Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
