i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
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