The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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