He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
