yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
