I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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