After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
