After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
She told me I should be a condom model.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Randomize
