Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
