i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
