He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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