my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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