Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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