nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I deserve this hangover.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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