Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
