PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
