my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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