Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Randomize
