On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
