What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
do herpes really smell.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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