Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I love having hate sex.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
