she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
