I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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