he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Come back. Shots need mouths.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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