fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
