There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
